How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
