He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
