I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
