There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
