3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
