She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
