What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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