Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
