did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
