and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
