he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
