Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
