he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
