Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
