Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
