Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i came on her dog
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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