What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
