i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
