I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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