dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
