ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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