he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
