he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
