I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
