Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
