Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
