How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
