the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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