You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If I die, sorry about rent.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
