you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Everclear isn't food dammit
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
