The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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