come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
