I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
