how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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