I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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