He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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