I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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