ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
