He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
