You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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