I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
