best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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