Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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