Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
