Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
