Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Soap is not a condiment
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
