just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
God I need to hump something, right now.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
