Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
