i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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