JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
