I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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