that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
How's work?
Spinning.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
