Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
