We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Barsexuality is the new black.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
