Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
