I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
