I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
