I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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