I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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