he shaved USA in his pubs
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
