I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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