About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
