Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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