Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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