So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
