Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
